Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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