Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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