Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
