no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
