Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Randomize
