watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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