i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
