If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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