Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
