Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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