and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Rumble strips road head = magical
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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