ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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