one two three fourrrrnication!
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
