You smell like stripper and shame
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
