I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I stole a fireplace last night.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Your penis caused this!
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
