Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
