They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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