he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I want her autograph on my taint
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
