Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
