you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
