he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I need water and some morals
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
