We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we made out on top of his cat.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
