I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
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Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
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We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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