You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
