I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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