At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
