So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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