Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
