I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize