Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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