I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
