How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
