you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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