his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
