i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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