It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize