Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
