What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize