To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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