The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize