He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
