Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
operation have a gay friend backfired
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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