it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
