is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
