OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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