I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
