You work out of a Hotel?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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