so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I love you. Go after that dick
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
