Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
