tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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