Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
