Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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