My room smells like vodka and shame
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
