"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
you made out with another girl for some wings
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
