Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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