We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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