i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
