Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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