i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize