i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
