I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
