All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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