he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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